10 Reasons Not To Sleep With Him

So I yanked this from some other website.  Basically the article that lead up to these 10 reasons was about the fact that it's summer, Sex and the City is out and that because of this all young semi-attractive women will be ripping off our clothes... Or something like that.  I was too busy staring at the mole on Sarah Jessica Parkers face to really pay attention

The 10 reasons are not mine, the commentary that comes afterwards is.

1. You're not as detached as you think.

-Eh, I'll give you this one.  I'm not a prude, but sex is not 'something to do'.   Besides, everyone knows that girl.

2. He may be cheating on someone else, with you.

-Well if it's a one night stand then the odds are fairly decent that I'd be cheating on someone else with him.  I think that evens the playing field.  If it is a one night stand, who cares?

3. He's a Taker.

-Let's put it this way, he can be a Taker all he wants he's not getting his pants back until I'm satisfied.

4. He's clingy.

-Again with this one night thing.  If he's clingy then you leave... Unless it's at your place then you just call the cops.

5. He just got out of a relationship.

-I probably did too, it's the only reason I could think of for a one night stand.  Better to rebound with someone you're not in for the long haul with.

6. He's bad in bed.

-How would I know if he's bad in bed before I sleep with him?  Is there some signal?  I missed that day in sex ed.

7. STDs

-Lovely things called condoms, and not going horizontal (or vertical...) with a complete stranger.

8. You're drunk.

-Drunk sex is bad sex.  No debate, this item is closed.

9. You're not over your ex.

-What better way to get over an ex than by getting under the new guy?  I've never done this mind you, but isn't that why there are rebound guys?

10. You're not even attracted to him.

-Yeah, I've never been that drunk.  And I've been REALLY drunk.

After it's all said and done kids, let's be sure to be safe.  Condoms are cheap and if you don't use them outside of a stable relationship you're a moron.  Get checked, be smart and watch your drink kiddies.  Oh, and stay away from the hairy boys, they'll break your resolve.

Taco Bell

I'm a little disturbed by the new Taco Bell commercials.  Reason number 1: It features a depressed sea turtle.  Reason number 2: It gives the illusion that fresh fruit is housed at a Taco Bell.  

What does a turtle have to do with tacos?  And why would I want to buy a smoothie at Taco Bell?  

Alli

I like the Alli commercials.  They sell the hell out of their product all the while telling you it doesn't work.  And it sells...

It only works if you eat small very low fat meals and exercise.  If you don't, you'll poo your pants.  No cheating on that, I guess, I mean unless you're into carrying around spare pants like you're 2.  Anyway, My suggestion is stop eating crap and take a vitamin.  If you really want to poo your pants drink 8 beers and wait a while.  By the 5th beer it'll be a great idea.

...I'm Italian, I prefer the term rubenesque... 

Tonight

I drank the whole bottle of wine.  It was a $2 bottle of wine, so while it tastes good and the buzz is nice, tomorrow will suck.  Who knows I may keep drinking after this last glass is gone.  He's a jerk and in 39 days I'm done.

I want to do one of my experiments...